Time and again, I find myself writing about people who have left me tormenting for a while. For the information of all of you reading this, let me confess that I have been doing nothing since the past month. An idle mind can be a devil’s workshop, but for me, it gave an opportunity to know many people who I would never have, if not for this vacant month. I am not an IT man with a laid off job, or a business man with a crashed bank account. I work at my own convenience and live in a galaxy of musical notes and vibrations. Professional involvement in the so called music industry was taking its toll on me and I found myself lost in a web of stilted thoughts and fictitious expressions. I wanted to break free, and adding to my joy, thankfully there were no juicy invitations that would have made me decide against a few weeks of solitude.
I had once introduced a brotherly friend of mine to a world of knowing people though social networking sites and chats and I would confess I am still on regrets for that unthoughtful move. He has been a person close to me and remains so. But i feel jealous there are lots of friends now for him with whom he shares his time. I probably dug my own pit!
My memories drag me back to some previous experiences, i was once an active social networking geek, but then slowed down and at a point fully liberated from those. But some of the old friends have started to take a lot of my thoughts these days.
Some memories, some experiences are what I feel like writing down. I don’t know how many of you would be interested in these, but at least i will have my level of mental frustration coming down as i write these down.
I met her through face book and later started talking over in yahoo. She was from an Asian country but with a culture quite different from ours (India). She served as an extra singer in their local church chorus troop, which remained her only means of income as far as i know. As i told you, their culture is quite diverse from ours. Casual was she in her talks and thoughts. She had a baby just about a year and when asked bout her father, her reply was that her boy friend didn’t marry her and thus her kid remained fatherless. She added that in those parts of her country, the man to women ration was 1:4, which meant 4 women for 1 man!.. Oh my god.. How I wished to be deported to that country, but I better don’t dare to! Lol.. I find handling one woman difficult at times. Leave alone four. Ha ha.. Jokes apart, we were very serious in our talks, how she wanted to be a big singer, but later ending up being an extra in a troop were all her usual topics. But she never sounded complaining. Even being an orphan herself didn’t seem to move her emotional senses a bit. She remained strong, laughed all along as she rolled out each and every unfortunate incident of her life. Her kid remained her biggest source of joy. One day she came online and asked me for a favor. She said she was going to celebrate the first b’day of her baby and she wanted some catchy invitation quotes and some wonderful designs for the invitation card. I browsed online and helped her with some. She hilariously asked me what I was gonna gift her kid on her first b’day. I simply laughed it off saying i would have kissed her little forehead and hugged her close to me if i was there. She smiled and left. Days later, probably a few days before the birthday, she came online again and asked me if i could help her with some money. She wanted a considerable amount and was quite embarrassed she was asking me. I felt something wrong. I have heard my brotherly friend, who had by now evolved into being an expert in dealing with similar people from the same country, say that all these girls who we make friendship online turn out to demand financial aid at a later stage. His comment struck my head. I promptly rolled on the grass, hit the bushes and slowly quit the chat with her. Since then I went online in invisible mode to make sure she didn’t catch me and ask about the money again. But I didn’t see her for some days. And days passed by..
One day, weeks later i saw her online again. Being so close once, i could not stop myself from greeting her. She was as usual excited to see me online and responded apace. This time again she asked me for another help. I was surely not gonna entertain any financial help. I had my mouse over the sign out button, a click away.. But she typed on…
“My kid passed away a week back. She had a serious heart ailment. Could not arrange the money for her treatment. I need your help. Can you design me a farewell card and an invitation for her ceremonies. As a mom, I am not able to do it myself.”
I logged off. Prayed for that child.